1. Responsibility to Family Members
Seems simple on the surface, but defining a 21st century family requires some imagination. To some, it’s close relations, blood relations: parents, siblings, children. To others, it’s a mate, or to others who live under the same roof for an extended period. Today’s more flexible families may include multiple parents, and complicated relationships. On the one hand, we want to be expansive, but there is only so much time, money, space and emotional capacity. On the other, humans rely upon family members for health and well-being. When aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents are added to the mix, life the question becomes more complicated.
2. Responsibility to Children, in Particular
Unlike many animals, humans require adult care for the first 15% of their lives. Of course, the youngest require the most attention: the watchful eye of parents and community members. For working parents, or those busy in their own social whirl, keeping a digital eye is one option: video monitoring, tags and embedded chips. Nannies and day care provide busy parents allow both parents to work as they raise questions about outsourcing parental responsibility in exchange for social or economic benefits. Adults are expected to care for their young, and provide economic stability, literacy, numeracy, and social skills. And, many adults feel they must pass on knowledge about reproduction. Although much of this comes naturally, contemporary adults struggle with responsibility for sex education: when is the right time, who ought to do the teaching, what ought to be taught, appropriate and inappropriate partners, what shouldn’t be learned from the internet. Other animals simply reproduce when the time is right. For many 21st century humans, sex education has become very complicated.
3. Responsibility to the Next Generation
Mostly, this responsibility includes property, money and long-term wellness. Given the wide range of people and their assets, this can become complicated. A family farm with 1,000 acres is a healthy piece of property, but when it’s divided by four children, each parcel becomes 250 acres, and if each of those families has four children, then each parcel includes only 40 acres. Should the current owner of 1,000 acres be concerned about two, three or more generations—people he or she will never meet? Substitute money for land, and consider the impact. In less than a century, a once-wealthy family may lose its fortune, and its status. Of course, most families never encounter the problems of the wealthy—and some must contend with the “mess” that even a well-intended patriarch or matriarch may have perpetrated, perhaps with the best of intents. Should we leave it to the government to sort things out with inheritance laws and taxes, or is there a better way?
4. Responsibility to Animals
About half of U.S. residents are pet owners. In the U.S., humans have accepted responsibility for 83 million dogs and 95 million cats, plus millions of fish, birds, horses, and more. Worldwide, hundreds of millions of pets rely upon human owners. Nearly all of us feed and tend to their care, and, to varying degrees communicate with animals in our inner circle. Most dogs can understand over 100 words, plus many gestures and nonverbal cues; their responsiveness and companionship is a good example of how far a human-animal relationship may evolve. (We care about our animals; we are outraged when others do not.) We’re also learning a great deal by studying and experimenting. Temple Grandin (who learns from her own autism), animal communicator Anna Breytenbach (“her personal mission…being a voice for the animals and the wilderness”), and Joan Ranquet (an animal psychic with widespread media exposure, who offers services by the hour) are among those leading the way. Of course, communication is only one aspect of care and responsibility.
5. Keeping Everyone Healthy
For a child, for a senior, for most of us, routine health care is a big job. Health (and medical science) is not easy to understand—especially when things go wrong. Doctors are often, but not always trusted; sometimes, the power of religion, the Internet, one’s own studies, or what grandma says generates greater trust. Each of us is responsible for our own health, fitness, nutrition and wellness, but many of us are happy to outsource this responsibility to a more knowledgable, more skillful or focused family member. Where does personal responsibility begin and end? What about license to take charge of a loved one’s life, or end-of-life? Should we follow the directions prescribed by the medical community: vaccinate every child against chickenpox, diphtheria, hepatitis A and B, measles, mumps, and a half dozen other preventable diseases—or hold out for a better solution? How about flu shots for family members? Monitor every dose of every medication for every family member? Prepare foods that are consistently low in salt, sugar, fats, and other potentially dangerous substances? A family walk every day? A pet to reduce stress (and add to the list of those who require care and monitoring). Should we hide the liquor, toss the cigarettes in the garbage, force him out if he hits her one more time, call the police the next time she finds the heroin? Or is each of us responsible for our own lives?
6. Friends
Although Facebook uses the term promiscuously, most 21st century friends understand that their relationship is based upon repeated, sustained personal interaction in person, by phone, and by written word. Still, the idea of friendship continues to evolve, in part because we move around so much (proximity is no longer the prime mover it was in the 20th century), and in part because so much of our interaction with other humans tends to be digital. Where does our responsibility as a friend, and to a friend, begin and end? Is there a meaningful difference between far-away friends, work friends, people we meet online but never meet in person? How many friends is the “right” number, for you? How long, how deep, how frequent the connection? Is friendship something that just happens, or does it require tending? What is friendship in the 21st century?
7. Co-Workers
Just about half of us work full-time, and many of us spend more time with our co-workers than with our family members. It’s a peculiar setup because, for the most part, we were hired into social and economic relationships, and did not choose the people who may matter most. The situation becomes more interesting when people’s roles change, new people are introduced, and others leave, or return in new roles. And yet, we accept tremendous responsibility for our co-workers: as bosses, as senior executives, as support staff, as co-workers who must collaborate successfully with others in the company and with clients/customers. Many of us devote a third of our waking hours to these relationships; some of us devote as much as half. In a work place, or a narrow industry sector, to what extent are we responsible for others, and are they responsible for us?
8. Is it okay to kill yourself, or anybody else?
Although ownership of one’s own body would seem to be a reasonable premise, most ancient and modern societies do not permit termination of a human life by suicide or other means. Often, taking a life is a social, religious, and ethical taboo, but we make routine exceptions: killing of plants and animals is usually permitted, as is killing of certain humans under special circumstances. While these norms broadly apply, perhaps there are questions about ending your own life, or the life of a loved one, for mercy or other good reasons. As we struggle to define good reason, the discussion turns to ethical codes, legal authority, euthanasia, and assisted suicide, and to ceding control under special circumstances (military, punishment for criminal activity, power of attorney for extreme health issues). Inevitably, the conversation turns to the definition of a life, its value, and the degree to which society dictates the boundaries for deeply personal decisions. Slow contributions to one’s own demise are permitted, presumably because they occur over a period of time and may not include an indisputable cause and effect: excessive consumption of fats, sugars, alcohol, tobacco and other substances; poor medical care, failure to adhere to doctor’s orders, utter lack of exercise. The clear message: if you wish to kill yourself and remain in the Lord’s good graces, do it over time.
Nearly all humans are connected to other people. This topic is about relationships: the ones that we’re born into, the ones we join along the way. Our inner circle may live under the same roof, or in the same neighborhood, or halfway around the world. The duration of our closest vary—some are constant and long-term, others are sporadic or short-term. We’re connected to people who are very young, our own age, very old. Money, history, emotion, religion, beliefs, education, natural skills, intelligence, accomplishment, jealousy, admiration are among many factors that make relationships complicated and, sometimes, difficult to understand. Each family requires its own definition of the term, the result of more than one marriage or none at all. And don’t forget our friendships with other species: half of U.S. households include at least one dog or one cat—and some of us share more secrets with our animals than with our humans.